December 2006 – Page 4 – Otis & James Photography

The Family Rydberg!

Seriously.

I’m not even kidding.

It’s like, whoa.

Were these professional models?

Was this for Abercrombie?

Was this some sort of figment of my imagination?

Because, like, Holy.

Cow.

Wow.

I’m just gonna stop talking, give some love to The Family Rydberg for stopping down to the FunCenter (now with FunMachine), and get to the snaps.

‘Cause they’re mad good.

Enjoy!

Once upon a time, on a quiet, snowless Main Street of the dainty town of Minot, there existed a quaint studio inhabited by a few not-so-quaint photographers. Each and every day, dozens of smiling children and happy grandparents, uncles, aunts, brothahs, and mothahs alike entered the doors of the all-powerful “FunCenter” and made their way to the magic zone, where beautiful photographs proceed to be taken (ironically, also the same area where Otis makes a fool of himself).

But today was not “each and every day”; today was glorious! As expected, dozens of smiling children, happy grandparents, seniors, juniors, sophomores (ehhh…) sistahs and fathahs alike pranced (much like the fashion that a reindeer walks) into O&J Land. But admist all of the Yuletide hustle and bustle, the three precious Askvig children brought a halt to the chaos. Donning their Holiday tights and sweaters alike, they came to the studio for one reason, and one reason only: To tear it down.

Of course these children would not literally run a bulldozer into the FunCenter, nor explode/implode the building in any manner. No, no! They merely turned up the charm and down came the studio. Poof! They were. Just. That. Good.

Many festive thanks to the Children Askvig, and to all the bloggers and bloggerettes in Blogland (you can never use too many ‘blogs’ in a sentence) — Enjoy!

The Family Barnett!

There was a time, and it really wasn’t all that long ago in the grand scheme of things, that the doors to the FunCenter opened up, and we welcomed none other than the über lovely and talented Family Barnett in for some superawesomelyfantastical Holiday Family Snaps!

I’m sure, there are some of you ‘Doubting Thomas’s’ (and, anyone that has the story figured out with punctuation, we are hiring immediately in the land of blog for an assistant. There is no pay, no benefits, but you get the personal satisfaction of knowing that the pucntuation in the land of blog is overseen by you, and that counts for something now, doesn’t it? What’s that? Compensation counts too? Well, I guess you’ll just have to prove yourself first, and then we’ll talk…but I’ll need to see proof that your up to the task) that are wondering if the O&J FunMachine (YES!!! FunMachine!!!) was able to kick out the jamz (catch that lingo, my peeps, catch it) with The Family Barnett, and the answer is – quite simply – yes.

The jamz were kicked out.
The doors were blown off.
SuperAwesomeFamilySnaps (isn’t that the name of an album from TLC?) were indeed, snapped.

MuchLove to The Family Barnett for stopping down to the FunCenter, and to all of you sitting by our piles of burning pieces of wood drinking your cider and/or NesCafé – Enjoy!

The Family Kubas!

The Otis & James Train of Holiday Love (O&JTOHL), not to be confused with the Holiday Train (we’re still in the middle of bitter litigation over that one) kept on a rollin’ through the FunCenter for Fun, and this time our passengers were none other than The Family Kubas!

Now, I’ve mentioned this before, but The Family Kubas warrants another mention of this phenomena, which is families that are incredibly good looking, and take wonderful looking photographs together. Seriously. How do they do it?

In every family photograph that I personally have been part of, it appears that one or more members of our family are experiencing some sort of deep pain, akin to being hit with a cattle prod, or having some sort of a cruel medical procedure. Well, except for me, who was usually wearing ill-fitting clothes and had my patented smile of fangs and red cheeks. As I said, the only feeling that would come from my family photographs would be painful medical procedures, which is why when I see groups like The Famuily Kubas, I wonder what their secret is?

Do they practice? Have they been in training all year? Do they have some sort of a ‘photographic posing coach’ that has had them in training? Do they practice smiling? What? What is their story?

I guess that these questions will just have to remain unanswered, and perhaps it is better if the are, because, some things are better left unexplained. We shall just accept them for what they are, which is a good looking family. And that’s that.

Many thanks to The Family Kubas for stopping down to the FunCenter for their supersweetholidaypics, and to all of you peeps just a sittin’ out there in the land of blog waiting for something to do besides wash your deck and vacuum your car – Enjoy!

Travis. Yes. Travis.

Travis.

Dang, man.

Brought the goods.

Tore it up.

Socks? Rocked right off.

And that’s that.

Enjoy!

Caree!

Now, I don’t know what I can tell you about our time with Caree this past week (from now on, everything is just going to be ‘this past week’, and it is up to you in the land of blog to figure out if what I am speaking, or writing, or telepathically communicating with you actually did happen during the past week, or, if my definition of a week is more fluid, and perhaps might mean a week in Saturn time, which, due to the fact that I am not some sort of a ‘scientist’, and instead am a ‘slightly-unstable-ego-maniac’, which – coincidentally is also the title of my first album) that can’t be expressed in her totally gorgeous photographs!

I feel as if putting a bunch of silly words on the post would only sully (YES! I finally used silly and sully in the same sentence!) the true beauty that is Caree! So, instead of a bunch of crazed out writing…uhhhh…just disregard that first part of the post, then…I will just tell you that we had a wonderful time working with Caree, and we thank her and her lovely assistant for coming up and visiting the FunCenter! You were awesome, and your samplesnaps are proof of that! And to all of you out there in the land of blog, and to any neighboring communities – Enjoy!

Heather!

Lest you think that the doors to the FunCenter have only been open to families and children lately, I bring you good news today, at this hour that so closely resembles 4:32 in the PM as I write this, that we have not forgotten about what we like to call ‘Seniors’…well…actually…I’m pretty sure that there are many other people that call them Seniors as well, but you know how I work. I’m the only thing in my universe, and I don’t have time to take some sort of a poll of everybody that exists in the world, because I have neither the time, resources or patience to conduct some sort of a crazy thing, so I’m just going to say that I am the only person that calls them Seniors, and I’m not really sure what else they would be called…perhaps 12th graders? Whatevs. We gots ourself some business to attend to, and this business is that of Heahter, and her superawesomefantaticseniorsnaps!

Holy. What just happened in the previous paragraph? Alright, not time to figure out the past, we gotta stay focused on the here and now, and the here and now in the land of the blog is going to be about the totally awesome time that we had working with the superwonderful Heather, during this past week (actually, I’m not quite sure of the time, but seeing as how she is a Senior I’m guessing that the shoot occured at some point during the last 17 years or so, and seeing as how we’ve only really been a business for the past four years or so, the shoot prolly went down ((and don’t you just love it when I use the term ‘prolly’, and my inner eighth-grader can shine!)) at some point between 2002 and 2006), and then we need to thank her for stopping down to the FunCenter and for giving us some of her sweetsweet time! Well, it looks like I just did that, so now we need to put all of these foolish thoughts out of our heads, and get ready to – Enjoy!

Lacie!

I tell you what. Well, first of all, that was officially the worst opening sentence to a blog post ever. Apparently, I am auditioning for an opening slot for Jeff Foxworthy (and listen up, Foxworthy fans, I don’t need you sending me all sorts of messages about ‘how dare I pick on poor ol’ Jeff’, because, I don’t need to hear it…I respect your position on how he’s the cat’s pajamas and all that, but that doesn’t mean that I need to agree with it. You may want to call me an ‘uptight no fun elitist Northerner that probably reads the New York Times and all those other MSM rags that are polluting our minds with their stupid words’, and that’s fine with me, because I’m just here to tell you about some supersweetseniorsnaps that we had the great pleasure of taking this past week, or at some point in the recent past, and we don’t gots the time to go off about stuff like that, because we need to get to the matter at hand, which is Lacie!), and I now think that I can start off a post like that. But I can’t. So let me start again.

Attention people of blog! The Otis & James Center for the Placement of Napkins at the Dinner Table (O&JCFTPONATDT) welcomed the one and only, the ever-lovely Lacie to the FunCenter this past week, and it was a sweetlyrocking time of insane proportions! Man, oh man, we had a wonderful time working with this totally awesome young lady person, and there should be a couple of words now that pay thanks to Lacie for stopping by and allowing us to get some sweetsnaps of her, and now there should be a couple of words that I tell the people of the blog to stay true to themselves, and to – Enjoy!

Perhaps a Couple More From Heidi?? Yes! Indubitably!

One morning as I was sitting upon my rooftop (as this is my daily morning routine, followed by a few ditties on my lute, a quick bowl of Marshmallow Mateys, and a thorough sponge bath) I spotted what appeared to be a walrus playing a piccolo while riding a unicycle (as this is a daily happening on my street). Upon closer examination, however, I realized that it was actually a walrus playing a lute and riding a unicycle. Realizing that we had something in common (aside from our admirably smooth heads and wondrous tusks), we bound together to make sweet, sweet lute music.

Now, don’t ask me how it is possible that this walrus held onto his lute, but you must believe me when I say the said events did occur. In due time we were touring with Bon Jovi and breaking the young ladies hearts left and right. There was, however, one ladies heart that we didn’t break; some might refer to her as Heidi Beth, but I simply like to call her Best Groupie EVAH (BGE).

Of course Heidi came to all the shows and made sure our trusty mid-70’s Volkswagon FunMobile (always driven by Otis, for walruses are unpredictable behind the wheel) was kept with a fresh supply of Boca Burgers, krill, clams, and most importantly, Tab estrogen drink. She was our compass, our bedtime story reader, our toenail clipper, and our foot massager. One must ask themself, does life get any better than this?

“Uh…does life get any better than this?”

No.

So rain or shine, snow or sleet or raining cats or cows, Heidi Beth stocked the Tab and massaged our egos. She brought sunshine to an otherwise creepy Volkswagon FunMobile driven by an Otis and his companion, Walrus (who shall rename nameless for privacy purposes). You can imagine the heartbreak when the band broke up in 1998 and little Heidi was out of a job, while Otis was out of a lifestyle. Fortunately Heidi Beth found work at the Tastee Freeze, and Otis followed his lifelong dream of being a Disney character. Neither thought they’d ever see the living bajayzus of eachother evah again.

Fast forward to a winter morning in two-thousand and six when I was sitting upon my rooftop playing my lute and drinking my quadruple Venti Latte and watching Oprah. While rubbing the morning dew from my eyes, I spotted what I thought was a walrus playing a piccolo while riding a unicycle, but upon replacing my spectacles realized that it was actually my former groupie, Heidi Beth, prancing through the snow!

[Insert excitement here.]

After a jubilant reuniting, we got right down to business with some serious snappage occuring in the streets of the Magic City. It turns out that all of those years working at the Tastee Freeze have really turned Heidi supah warm-blooded, and she spends most of her days frolicking in traffic and eating the sweet nectar of the snowflake.

Love to Heidi Beth for teaming up with O&J again for round deuce of her ultrasupersweetsweet senior photographs! She truly is a chocolate-covered dream. Without further tales of lute-playing walruses, Tab estrogen drink, or any of the above bologna – Enjoy!

Maureen & Danny!

More so than pre-marriage counseling and all that jazz that goes with it, the real test as to whether or not a couple is meant for eachother can be found here, at the FunCenter for Fun.

We don’t have a fancy machine that tells us this. We don’t have a fortune teller predicting the future. We don’t have some sort of a new-age guru sitting around ready to dispense advice at a moments notice (as it turns out, I actually applied for and got that job). Nope. We don’t got none of that.

What we do have is a studio, a camera, and some lights. You see, we turn these things on, and take some picto-graphs of the lovely couple, and we can tell you the answer right there on the spot. Because, you see, the couple that photographs well together is the couple that stays together. Think about it. If you find a couple that is in love (wow…did I just say that…did the blog just become some sort of a weirdly emo place?), I defy you to find a photograph of them in which they look like they are experiencing discomfort at the situation. No no. Every one – even though they technically may not be as sweetlysweets as ours are (did you see me pat myself on the back right there??!!), they are still wonderful, because there is nothing but love love love, sweet love going on!

And that’s what we had during our visit by the everlovely Maureen & Danny! We had a wonderful time working with this lovely couple, and now is the time for us to give some love to them for stopping down to the FunCenter, and now it is the time for you to look at the sample snaps – Enjoy!

Month: December 2006